How To Be Happier In Life

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This post is about one of the most important questions to ever exist: how can we be happier in life now?

While those responses were interesting, some of the leading research in the world on happiness gives us a very different picture.

The problem is that most of us get so wrapped up in the world’s idea of happiness that we lose sight of what actually contributes towards it.

That is why we’re going to dig a little deeper and understand the psychology behind happiness, why most of us in the modern world are unhappy, and what are some simple shifts that we can make to become happier today.

Let’s get started.

The Psychology Behind Happiness

Now, happiness is not just about feeling good.

If that were the case, we would do things that make us feel good and we would be perpetually happy.

Happiness has a lot more to do with how our brains process experiences, emotions, and connections.

Psychologists break it down into two types:

Hedonic happiness, which is short-term pleasure—like eating your favorite dessert or buying something new or watching that meme on Instagram.
Eudaimonic happiness, which prioritizes deep, lasting fulfillment over short-term pleasure.

The problem is that our brains are wired to chase quick hits of dopamine, which is why we scroll endlessly, binge-watch TV shows, and keep setting bigger and bigger goals—only to find that they don’t make us as happy as we expected.

Research also shows that we adapt very, very quickly to happiness boosters, which means that the joy of achieving something like a raise, a new car, or a luxury bag—things that seemingly should make us happy—fades very quickly.

The more we get those things and the more easily we get those things, the faster that joy fades.

This concept is known as the hedonic treadmill in psychology.

This is why, despite living in a world with more convenience, more wealth, and more technology than ever before, people are lonelier, more anxious, and less fulfilled than ever before.

This is the reason that while we think more money will make us happier, once we achieve it, we return to our baseline level of happiness.

So this must mean that focusing on eudaimonic happiness, or lasting fulfillment, should make us happier.

But how exactly do you get that deep and lasting fulfillment in the first place?

What Makes Us Happy

According to some of the biggest and longest-running studies on happiness, there are four distinct things that contribute to humans being happy:

1. Strong Relationships

Now, it might not come as a surprise to you, but when I was researching for this post, I was blown away by the magnitude of how important relationships are.

There’s this study called the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which started in 1938 and has been tracking participants over an 85-year period.

It reveals that it’s not money or achievements, but strong relationships that are the biggest predictor of happiness and long-term health in people.

In fact, loneliness is considered to be one of the biggest impediments to living a happy life.

One research paper shows that loneliness can be compared to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Several other studies have found that loneliness increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, and speeds up cognitive decline.

This is the reason that several countries, including the UK, have appointed Ministers of Loneliness to deal with the problem.

Turns out that relationships directly combat loneliness, and they also act as emotion regulators, helping people handle stress better, cope with adversity, and improve their emotional resilience.

2. Physical Activity

Now, this one’s pretty obvious.

Exercising daily significantly improves your physical health and life expectancy, in turn adding to fulfillment and life satisfaction.

Studies have shown that physical activity reduces the risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

But it’s not just that—exercising regularly changes your brain’s neuroplasticity.

Studies show that when you start exercising, you get a surge of happy hormones in your brain.

In the beginning, these are short-term boosts.

But when you continue to exercise over a period of time, it enhances your brain’s ability to produce and regulate these neurotransmitters, thereby making the effects a lot more long-lasting.

As a result, your dopamine receptors become more sensitive, meaning the brain responds better to natural rewards over time.

And when you continue to exercise, it actually reduces the likelihood of dopamine imbalances, which are often seen in people with depression and anxiety disorders.

3. Meaningful Work

This was another result that came out of the Harvard study—that people who found purpose in their careers were some of the happiest people on the planet.

Now, this does not mean the highest-paying career or the most successful position.

It actually means work that provides a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment on a continued basis.

4. Money

Now for most real-world cases, increase in income has a direct correlation with increase in happiness.

But there’s a very famous 2010 study by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, which found that happiness plateaus at an income of about $75,000 per year.

After this, it was found that income doesn’t impact happiness as much.

Another study conducted in 2021 also shows that income only continues to increase happiness for those who are already happy.

Let’s look at this realistically.

$75,000 is by no means an average number—it translates to roughly about 65 lakh Indian rupees.

Now if we look at Indians, the average middle-class urban Indian household earns between 5 to 30 lakhs annually.

That is a huge range in itself.

But to everyone on this spectrum, if they reach the number of $75,000 per year, they will be significantly happier.

The caveat, however, is that increase in income also comes with a direct increase in the amount of stress.

Someone who is able to make 65 lakh rupees a year is significantly more stressed due to work than someone who chooses not to do so.

And since increase in stress is directly linked to decrease in happiness, the effort required to make money beyond a certain point diminishes the return on happiness.

The Six Fundamentals of Happiness

From the psychology behind happiness and from the studies on happiness, we understand these six fundamental things:

Cheap hits of dopamine actually reduce happiness over time
Loneliness and chronic stress are two of the biggest hindrances to happiness
Relationships are a lot more important than you think
Physical activity changes your brain’s neuroplasticity to make you happier
You need to find fulfilling work if you truly want to be happy in life
Making more money will definitely make you happier—but not in the absence of the first five things on the list

How Can You Become Happier?

So how exactly can you put all of this into practice and start becoming a happier individual?

The basics stand true: exercise or move every day, find a way to create impact through your work, and find ways to increase your income regularly.

But besides these three obvious things, here are a few additional tricks that have helped me become a happier person—and I think they can help you too:

1. Schedule Daily and Weekly Catch-ups

Connection is the cornerstone of human life.

Research has shown us this: strong social connections are the biggest predictor of long-term well-being and happiness and they actively help us combat loneliness.

But when life gets busy, people move away—it can get difficult to stay in touch and nurture those relationships that are actually helping make you happier.

I found a neat little hack for this and I’ve recently started practicing it:

Daily calls with my parents since I live away from home
Daily meetups and interaction with my partner
Weekly calls with friends who do not live in the same city
Once-a-week physical catch-up with friends who do live in the same city

Now, one thing to keep in mind is that while you strengthen your relationships, you also need to be mindful of the company you keep.

Constantly being around sad people rubs off on you—you feel sad as well.

Research shows that emotions have a ripple effect through social networks.

This is known as emotional contagion, and it happens through something in the brain called mirror neurons, which make us unconsciously absorb the energy of those around us.

So to truly build a happier emotional space, you need to surround yourself with people who are uplifting.

Be intentional about your environment and curate what you consume on a daily basis.

2. Strengthen Your Emotional Connection With Yourself

Loneliness is not just about the absence of people.

It’s also about feeling emotionally disconnected—from others, from purpose, and most importantly, from yourself.

Studies in positive psychology suggest that self-compassion and self-acceptance are two of the strongest indicators of emotional well-being.

That means instead of fearing solitude, or trying to constantly run away from being alone, you start embracing your own company.

Start small. Journal about your thoughts.

Paint something even if you’re not good at it.

Go out for a solo coffee date. Watch a movie by yourself.

Read a book in the park.

Take yourself to the salon and treat yourself to that facial or massage.

These may sound like small acts, but they reinforce to your brain that your own company is enough—that joy doesn’t always need to come from others.

3. Train Your Brain to Notice the Good

This is one of my favorite habits to build long-term happiness.

Most people don’t realize that our brains have something called a negativity bias—which basically means we’re wired to focus more on what’s wrong than what’s right.

The good news is that you can retrain your brain to start noticing the good things in life too.

The easiest way to start doing this is with a simple gratitude practice.

Every morning, write down five things that you’re grateful for.

They don’t have to be big—“had hot coffee,” “my friend texted me,” “got a good night’s sleep.”

Then, write down three good things that you noticed around you—“sunlight in the room,” “someone smiled at me,” “I had a good laugh at work.”

What this does is rewire your neural pathways.

Every time you notice and acknowledge something good, you’re reinforcing the mental habits that promote optimism.

Over time, your brain starts naturally scanning for what’s going well instead of what’s going wrong.

It becomes second nature. Your perspective shifts.

You start feeling lighter, more resilient, and more at peace.

You become a more joyful version of yourself—not because life magically got better, but because you trained your brain to see that it already is better than you thought.

4. Use the Effort-Recovery Model

Loneliness may be one of the biggest causes of unhappiness, but chronic stress is right there with it.

And one of the most overlooked contributors to chronic stress is our inability to rest effectively.

Most people think rest means flopping on the couch and watching Netflix after a long day. But that’s passive rest.

It doesn’t necessarily give your brain the recovery it needs.

This is where the effort-recovery model comes in.

According to this model, true rest isn’t just about stopping work.

It’s about engaging in activities that actively contrast the type of stress you’re experiencing.

For example, if your job is mentally exhausting—emails, meetings, problem-solving—then scrolling on your phone or watching TV doesn’t actually help your brain recover.

Instead, doing something physically active, creative, or engaging—like going for a walk, dancing, cooking, or organizing your space—helps your brain reset more effectively.

Think of it like working out.

You don’t train the same muscle every day without rest, right?

You allow it time to recover.

Your brain works the same way.

You need to recover smarter.

Set work-recovery boundaries: work in focused blocks of time, and then fully log off.

You can also use micro-recoveries—these are five-to-ten-minute breaks every 90 minutes where you move, stretch, or do breathing exercises.

These tiny resets help you restore focus, regulate stress, and protect your happiness.

5. Hack Your Brain to Remember More of the Good Times

Most people think that happiness is about the number of good moments we have.

But research shows that how we remember our experiences plays a bigger role than the experiences themselves.

Even a long period of joy can be overshadowed if it ends poorly. This is called the Peak-End Rule.

Introduced by psychologist Daniel Kahneman in a 1993 study, the Peak-End Rule says that people remember experiences based on two key moments:

(1) the most intense point (positive or negative), and

(2) how the experience ended.

For instance, in the study, people who went through a painful medical procedure but had a less painful ending remembered the experience more positively than those who had a shorter but more painful end—even if both procedures were equally uncomfortable.

This is huge because it means we can intentionally shape how we remember our lives.

If we end our days and our experiences on a positive note, we reshape our memories—and our overall sense of happiness.

So here’s what I started doing—and you can too.

End your day with something uplifting.

Let the last thing you do before bed be something that brings you real joy.

Read a comforting book. Do some skincare. Meditate.

Avoid mindless scrolling or binge-watching—these are dopamine traps that don’t lead to lasting happiness.

Another trick is to plan “positive endings” to stressful days.

Get your favorite dessert. Call someone you love.

These become emotional highs that your brain holds on to.

You’re basically manufacturing joy-inducing peaks throughout your week.

Final Thoughts

Most people think that happiness is about big life changes—but research proves it’s actually built on small, intentional actions repeated over time.