How to Get Inside Their Head and Keep Them Hooked
Become the Magnetic Force They Can’t Resist
You are the one person who will be with you for your entire life. So, let me ask you—what’s more important: whether you like yourself or whether they like you?
If you’ve been obsessing over distractions like, “Why isn’t he texting me back?” or “He’s following other girls!” and letting them consume you, I’ve got news for you.
By the end of this blog, you’ll never feel the need to do this again. Instead, you’ll become so magnetic that they will crave you more than you’ve ever craved them.
The problem with focusing on why someone else isn’t showing you the love or attention you want is simple: you give your power away.
But when you shift your focus inward, become the best version of yourself, and stop seeking validation, you become irresistible. Let’s break it down step by step.
A Tough Pill to Swallow: You’ve Created This
Facing the Uncomfortable Truth
Let’s get real for a moment. Have you ever caught yourself in disbelief, thinking, “He’s not that into me,” or “Why doesn’t he show more interest?”
Maybe it’s “He’s talking to other girls!” Well, here’s the uncomfortable truth—you’ve created this.
Yes, you.
This isn’t a judgment or blame—this is a wake-up call to empower you.
The circumstances you’re experiencing are a direct reflection of the energy you’ve been putting out into the world.
Your thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligned, and that alignment has created your reality.
You’ve projected your fears, doubts, and insecurities, and gradually, you’ve seen them play out exactly as you feared.
Example: Let’s say you have an ongoing fear that they’ll find someone else more attractive. Maybe you constantly check their social media or text them first, waiting for a response.
You’ve unknowingly created a scenario where they start pulling away because you’ve projected that fear, sending a subconscious message that you’re insecure.
But here’s the good news: You can uncreate this reality. By shifting your energy, you take back control.
Stop Letting Circumstances Consume You: Shift Your Focus
How to Stop the Negative Spiral
When you obsess over “Why isn’t he texting me back?” or “He’s following other girls!” you’re giving these circumstances power over you.
The second you shift your focus, everything changes. Instead of worrying about them, you start focusing on you.
Start thinking about why they should choose you:
- You’re kind.
- You’re beautiful.
- You’re irresistible.
- You’re irreplaceable.
Sounds a bit bold, doesn’t it? But that’s exactly what you need to start telling yourself.
It might feel unnatural at first, but the more you repeat these thoughts, the more your subconscious mind will begin to accept them as truths.
Repetition is the key to rewiring your brain.
Example: Every time a thought like “I’m not good enough” or “He’s interested in other girls” comes up, counter it with a positive affirmation like, “I’m the best option he’s ever had.”
This repetition will begin to reprogram your thoughts and help you align with the energy you want to project.
Take Back Your Power: Stop the Negative Self-Talk
Building a Strong Foundation of Self-Worth
The key to changing your reality is to focus so much on yourself that you don’t have time to care about external distractions.
This isn’t just about affirming that they choose you—it’s about building a strong foundation of self-worth which comes from falling in love with who you are.
What does that look like in practice?
- Mental Diet: What are you feeding your mind every day? If you constantly tell yourself, “I am not worthy of love,” that becomes your reality. But if you start telling yourself:
- “I am the chosen one.”
- “I am deserving of a fulfilling relationship.”
- “I am the best option for anyone who loves me.”
Your mental diet directly impacts your energy, which in turn influences how others perceive you. Start by journaling these affirmations every morning to set the tone for your day.
Example: Write down three things you love about yourself every morning. These could be qualities, achievements, or physical features that you appreciate. Over time, you’ll reinforce a positive image of yourself.
Stop the Toxic Behaviour: Why Self-Love is Your New Focus
Ditch the Destructive Habits
Let me share an example. One of my friends was blocked by her partner. Instead of moving on, she created a fake account to stalk his Instagram, spending hours agonising over who he was with and what he was doing.
This behaviour is toxic, both to your well-being and to the relationship.
The truth is, when you’re doing things like obsessing over their social media, you’re not living your best life.
You’re letting them control your emotions.
But when you stop obsessing and start focusing on building your own confidence, everything changes. Cultivate habits that will support your growth in the long run.
Redirect Your Energy: Instead of checking his phone or worrying about his whereabouts, invest your time in practices that boost your self-esteem:
- Scripting: Write about how beautiful it feels to receive love.
- Journaling: Reflect on how safe, secure, and blissful love feels.
- Affirmations: Repeat “They adore me because I’m irreplaceable.”
Example: Catch yourself next time you feel like you want to check his social media. Instead of giving in to that impulse, stop, take a deep breath, and redirect that energy to affirm your worth. Say something like, “I’m not here to chase. I attract.”
Addressing Your Fears: Let Go of the Need for Validation
Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt
What if they’re talking to someone else? Then what?
Does that mean you spiral further, putting yourself down even more?
Here’s the truth: this obsession with doubting yourself and finding evidence to disprove your worthiness is an addiction.
It’s a toxic cycle, but one you can break.
A Powerful Reframe: Instead of focusing on what they might be doing or who they might be talking to, ask yourself:
- “What do I need to feel secure in myself?”
- “How can I show up as my best self right now?”
- “What action can I take to create the love and connection I want?”
Daily Visualisation Exercise:
Visualisation is a powerful tool to shift your energy and align with your highest self. Here’s a simple exercise to add to your daily routine:
- Relax: Put on soothing music and take a few deep breaths.
- Imagine: Picture your partner (or your dream partner). See them as they adore you, giving you love and respect.
- Release: Exhale all your doubts and fears. Let them dissolve into the ether.
- Visualise: Picture white light pouring down onto you, filling you with radiant, loving energy.
- Step Into Your Power: Imagine walking into a room and commanding attention effortlessly. Feel your magnetic energy.
Do this for five minutes every day. It helps remind you that you are radiant, powerful, and deserving of love.
Reclaim Your Power: Step Into Your Irreplaceable Self
Become the Most Irresistible Version of You
It’s time to change the narrative. The person you’re manifesting will want you, crave you, and adore you—not because you’re chasing them but because you’ve become magnetic.
Nobody else can be you.
You’re unique.
You’re irreplaceable.
You’re deserving of love.
Shift your focus inward.
The moment you believe you’re the best option, they’ll have no choice but to see it too.
Conclusion: Your Power Is Yours to Claim
You’ve Got This!
Take this as your sign—it’s time to step into your power. The moment you stop chasing and start attracting, everything will change.
The key is to believe in your own worth and let go of the fear and doubt that has been holding you back. You are deserving of love, and you don’t need to chase it.
By focusing on yourself, affirming your worth, and doing the inner work to stop obsessing over external circumstances, you’ll become magnetic.
When you embody this energy, the person you desire will feel it—and they’ll be drawn to you like never before.
Your Future Self Is Waiting: Step into that confident, radiant version of yourself today. You’ve got this.
Additional Tips for Building Magnetism:
- Practice Self-Care: Regularly engage in activities that nurture your body and mind—whether that’s yoga, a long bath, reading, or simply getting a good night’s sleep. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your well-being.
- Set Boundaries: Healthy relationships start with respect—starting with yourself. Set boundaries that honor your needs, and stick to them. When you respect yourself, others will too.
- Own Your Worth: Don’t wait for someone else to validate you. Know that you are valuable and worthy of the love you desire. Stand firm in that
